Resolution #493: Don't Yell
I'm trying harder to not yell at my kids. Part of actually accomplishing that is regular readings and reminders about controlling my anger. Today's reading, from an advice column post I bookmarked almost 2 years ago and still enjoy re-reading because it's like she's speaking straight to me :
To illustrate: Not only do I try hard not to yell, but I also try very hard not to use a Harsh Tone of Voice. Now this part is fucking bullshit if you ask me, but I've been told many, many times over the years that I "sound harsh," either when I'm in a hurry, or I'm just answering the phone and I'm not sure who it is yet, or maybe I haven't had any caffeine yet and I'm wondering where my keys are. I Sound Harsh. Everyone agrees! And even though I personally feel that it's well within my fucking rights to sound as harsh as I fucking want (since I'm not yelling and throwing shit, which is how we do it in my family, for fuck's sake!), even though I have a serious problem with how much sugarcoating and pussyfooting women have to do in this world not to be encountered as demonic whore assassins by a populace that cultivates Disney Princess visions of femininity, I still comply with this seemingly universal desire for me to Sound Less Harsh. Here's why: My life is easier, I feel less shitty about myself, my friends are nicer to me, my kids look less jumpy, my mother is less critical, and my husband is more helpful. This Deluxe Showcase of Super-Special Bonuses is mine, just from Sounding Less Harsh. It's not that hard, honestly. And you know what? I feel less harsh, too.
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