preferences

i thought it would hurt my feelings when lumi began to prefer kimmo.  they say it happens with all children -- there will be phases when she prefers the mother, then others when she prefers the father.  since i was the one breastfeeding her and getting up in the middle of the night with her and attending to most of her little needs, i felt i was intellectually prepared but emotionally unprepared to be passed over in favor of my husband.

but over the last week, she sobs when she thinks he's leaving, like when he goes to park the car and we stay in one place waiting for him to come back.  yesterday we were moving stuff and had a full elevator so kimmo decided to take the stairs and meet lumi and i down in the parking garage, but lumi cried for him to carry her, so i rode the elevator alone.

and instead of making me feel sad, i feel fucking fantastic.